'We wish you a dhimmi Christmas...'

'& a jihadi new year!'.. from cheery Channel 4.

Desperate to make up for crap Christmas ratings, Channel Fwors weally weally wadical Alternative Christmas speech for 2006 will be hosted by a woman in a niqab.


Previous years this show has been hosted by comedians, eccentrics and Jamie Oliver. But ratings arent great and the Queen still has the edge on the Christmas speech giving.


So is this a joke? Is this a Private Eye moment? Prepare to hit the off switch faster than ever at Xmas. Or find some leftovers to chuck at the screen.

It is possible of course that 'Khadija' will rock up as shown here. If not this will be about as welcome as watching a nativity with Osama and pals playing the shepherds or something. Outstanding Channel 4! Honestly, Khadija's best bet would be to trot over for a Trinnie and Susannah makeover on 'What Not to Wear'.

A veiled Muslim woman will deliver this year's alternative Christmas speech on Channel 4, the broadcaster has said. Khadija, a Zimbabwean-born British citizen who has been wearing the full veil - or niqab - for 10 years (good for her eh?!), has been given the slot. The message will reflect a year in which the wearing of religious clothing and symbols have "dominated the news agenda", said a Channel 4 spokesman.

Channel 4's spokesman also said that the controversy has "generated a debate about multiculturalism, secularism and integration - a debate in which British Muslims have played a key role and one that will shape the future of British society". (So they drag out another fundamentalist...well done)